a song for little masochistic me

Crossword Puzzle
by Richard Cortez

what do I want with love--
someone's embrace?
what do I want from silly boys
with smiles upon their face?

i've got sleep to catch up on,
and i've got books to read
i've got the city skyline beckoning
my eyes to get some sleep

the neon signs, the bigger lights
that lead to sleepless nights
the unmade bed, the things i said
waiting for the morning light

and i'm fumbling with goodbye
as i try to find my underwear
and i'm trying to make this quick
as i fix my morning after hair

and then you do the
"will you call? because I had a ball...
and it's not like we're seeing anyone exclusively
it's just you and me--we could do it casually or gradually or..."

then I throw away your number
and I block you online
I take you off my list on friendster
just to save us both the time

because I'm better off alone
I'm one singular sensation
yeah I'm better off alone
or in the company of masturbation

and I'm hunched over the crossword puzzle
of little masochistic me
taking in the toxic waste air
of new york fucking city

and the question that's got me puzzled
seems to be "14, down"
why am dumbfounded in this world of romance
looking like some kind of clown?